Michael R. Cooley Consulting

I was 6 or 7 years old, Nixon had recently resigned as President, and I wanted a t-shirt, specifically a “Booty-Shirt” with K.C. and the Sunshine Band on the front. To do that, I had to be “caller number eight” to the local radio station. Wait, what? A busy signal? Really? Wow, did I have a lot to learn.

First of all, I didn’t know what “booty” was, and secondly, I never realized

that calling a radio station was an art form – especially with a rotary dial. “Zip – rat-tat-tat-tat-tat… zip – rat-tat-tat-tat,” the dial seemed to move in slow motion, it was taunting me. I ever did get through, ever. Was there really anyone there?

Later in life I would recall that day, the day I learned not to call radio stations. I would lead a community-wide project to collect backpacks for the children of Army soldiers. I partnered with a local Christian radio station. They made the announcements and promised a remote broadcast as we distributed the backpacks at the elementary for children of enlisted soldiers. A local businessman who owned several furniture stores would allow his stores to be the drop off point for donations. He even drove one of his delivery trucks full of the bounty to Ft. Benning himself.

The sun was shining and it was going to be a great day. We headed off to meet the radio folks outside the gate.

But when we stopped along the way, the front right tire went flat on the furniture truck. The searing heat of the lingering summer sun would beat us down as I tried to plug the hole. The radio station was a no-show, I tried to contact them. The phone rang and rang, it was like I was trying to be ‘caller number eight’ all over again.

Disappointment turned to anger when I realized it was a bank holiday. No one was at the radio station. Instead of a live D.J. who was supposed to meet us at Ft. Benning we heard an automated program announce that the backpacks had been delivered. The on-air celebration ended with a “THANK YOU” shouted by the voices of many children. As I struggled momentarily with the thought that I had fallen in to a parallel universe, I remembered where I had heard those children’s voices. The recording was from last year’s Christmas project: gifts to an orphanage, not the Army kids. I wasn’t in a parallel universe, I was still putting air in a tire in the heat.

Bottom line: answer your phone. Or, if you’re not there make sure someone answers it for you. Return calls and answer voicemail promptly. Failure to answer or reply in a timely manner will be noticed, and word will spread quickly that “no one is home” in your office. Do not make your customers, clients, or the people who rely on you feel like “caller number eight” to a radio station when no one is home. Your false or deceptive claim that you  ”care” and to “be there” for others will sound as hollow and deceptive as the “thankyou!” heard on the radio on the side of the road.This applies to all forms of electronic communication. Build relationships because your “content” will never carry you where you want to go.

Great thoughts on fading manners.

http://bit.ly/xxxFhs

Top PR firms in LA are taking note of the lost art of protocol and the role it plays in the day to day relation-critical tasks.

More than ever, understanding ways to demonstrate courtesy and and show honor and respect should be top of mind in  your PR department.

http://www.istockanalyst.com/article/viewiStockNews/articleid/4869812

Here’s a second etiquette quiz!

If You Don’t Pass These 9 Quiz Questions, Say Goodbye To Your Promotion

What do you think?  How did you do?

The goal of manners in the modern world is putting people at ease and treating everyone with honor, respect, and courtesy. We must treat everyone, regardless of their position in society, with the same basic civility that was once reserved for the monarch or members of the ruling class. The goal of a free society and democratic republic is to treat everyone with high regard, regardless of the infinite number of things that exist or we create to make us different from one another.

Failing to observe protocol and etiquette is bad manners. This is well understood by nearly everyone. The flip side of that statement, and the one that manners-snobs often miss is: failing to ignore the bad manners of others is the epic fail of manners. The truly courteous and civil person will behave as if they do not see when one wipes their hand on their wrist at the table, or fails to introduce them to a coworker, or unintentionally breaks any number of the sacred rules of business etiquette.

It does not matter who is President or what one’s political opinions or policies may be, a fail is a fail.  So I see an epic fail in protocol when I hear about 10 year-old Vernon Pawlik. Pawik is the grandson of Vernon Baker, the longest surviving African American Medal of Honor winner from World War II. The family was in D.C. for his Vernon Baker’s funeral at Arlington National Cemetery. They were invited and then turned away from a tour of the West Wing due to a dress code violation; Vernon Pawlik, was wearing shorts and t-shirt. (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39444546/ns/politics-white_house/).

No, shorts and a t-shirt are not appropriate attire for the White House. I do not know or care why he was dressed this way; what is important here is the lack of manners displayed by those he encountered at the White House – who should have known better. Rather than showing hospitality to these White House guests, a junior staffer created an awkwardly discourteous moment for a special family during a critical event in their lives.

There are always going to be rule keepers who give a stink-eye to people who do not meet the non-negotiable standards. There are places where people should and must observe the dress code standards. In fact, I think our society is losing or lowering way too many of these standards at an alarming rate. These standards are sometimes called normal operating procedures. Yet the true professional, the thinking and courteous professional, knows the difference between what is normal and “ordinary” as opposed to what is above the norm or “extraordinary.” Manners and common sense should always be in harmony with one another. The most important rule of etiquette or protocol is the rule that says toss the rules for the higher purpose and goal of demonstrating real-world honor, respect and courtesy to others.

This morning a friend on facebook posted a question:

Have a question for you …how do I explain why it is proper and good business etiquette to stand when a potential customer walks in to one’s showroom? Greetings are made yes, but from a sitting position. In my mind that is wrong. What message does standing give when a [potential] client walks in to a room/booth/vicinity. What is the history of the custom? Thanks. :0)

Thanks Diane!

Why stand to show respect? Because rising is recognizing! To recognize someone is to acknowledge them. To acknowledge someone means to demonstrate honor, respect, and courtesy. Standing is a way to personally and individually acknowledge the presence of that customer, before ever saying a word.

That is, of course, if you were seated to begin with. Don’t run to a chair, plant your bottom in the seat and then hop up suddenly. You may confuse people or even scare them.

The simple act of standing says, “I believe you are a person of worth.” Standing is a non-verbal way to tell the customer you are there to serve. In settings other than client or customer, it is customary to stand for persons of higher rank and authority. Think of it as honoring the office or title, rather than the person.

Consider the opposite; in certain instances not rising is clearly disrespectful. The opposite of acknowledging is ignoring.

We stand up for many occasions and events. In each instance standing demonstrates the same thing: respect.

We stand for the Pledge of Allegiance.
We stand when the flag is raised and when it is lowered.
We stand for judges.
We stand for brides.
We stand when we give a toast.

We should stand when the boss enters our office or a conference room. Stand also for your boss’s boss, your client, or your customer. Do you think that would be awkward? Oh yes it is at first, but with practice one grows more comfortable with it. Do not let the awkwardness prevent you from learning something new. You should experience more uneasiness by remaining in your seat than you do by standing out of respect.

In a social setting a man is supposed to stand when a woman enters the room or is seated at the table. This rule has been sadly neglected. But guys do not over-compensate for it at the office. Be aware that in a business setting a man is not to stand when a woman enters the room or approaches a table – unless out of respect of age, title, or office.

Take this Quick Business Etiquette Quiz!
(Actually not sure I agree with one of them, what do YOU think?)